So even though I fall on and off the ‘blogging’ bandwagon, I am very consistent with journaling.
I have kept a journal through most of high school and college. There are a few un-written large portions of life, but for the most part every broken heart and celebration is documented.
On April 15th I turned 22.
That night as I got in bed and pulled out my Bible, journal, favorite pen, and highlighter to do my evening quiet time and write about the day, something inspired me to go back and look at my entry on my 21st birthday.
Turns out I hadn't written on my 21st birthday….but I had written 2 days before it…April 13th, 2009….except on this day, I must have been having a day. Instead of a “Today I yada yada yada", there was a list.
“Things Stressing Me Out” was written at the top and in list/number format I had 10 things that were keeping me awake on that particular evening.
Numbers 1-5 were legitimate stressors.
6 was “I’m ready to be married.”
7 was “I’m tired.”
8 was “Class=gag”
9 was “I want to trust God more in the season I am in right now.”
Then 10 was written at the very bottom line and said “I’m out of freaking room.”
I laughed while I read and then stopped as I realized I was still letting the majority of the things I had written down be stressors in my life TODAY---2010, a whole year later and it was the SAME things…
I was shocked. and #9 made me be quiet for several minutes as I thought about how much my Type A personality interferes with that happening and how vital it is to remember THAT before I think about anything else that could “stress” me out.
This past weekend Daniel and I went with our Campus Ministry to Secret Church in Birmingham, Alabama where Dr.David Platt is the Senior Pastor. The lesson that night was on The Gospel: Possessions and Prosperity. It would take a series of blog posts to even begin to capture the weight and conviction of this message.
But one of the MANY things that stood out to me was when he talked about “Speaking Accurately”-----such as not saying words like “I’m starving” or “I’m dying” or “I NEED” because really most Americans have no idea what “starving” is…
I say those a lot….most of the time just joking around of course but it put a lot of things I complain/worry about into perspective.
In my 22nd year I want to follow out #9.
I want to sit in my bed (at that point, it will be Daniel and my bed :)on my 23rd birthday and write in my journal that in the past year I have trusted God each day. That I have sought him, and followed HIS will, not mine. And that by doing those I have learned to NOT worry about days to come, but instead learned how to lean on the promises of God.
Most importantly I ALWAYS want to recognize I do those things (and all others), not because of ME, but because of HIM and his abundant Grace.